Different levels of desire in your relationships

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Differences in desire are completely normal, but this doesn’t mean they’re a walk in the park. As a sex therapist, I talk with a lot of people about how to cope with different libidos. The key is to deal with it early on and find ways of synching up. Here’s how you do just that.

What differences in desire does to couples

Sex is seldom just about sex — it’s about lots of different things; love, appreciation, validation, stress-relief, and play, to name a few.

Because sex can mean so many different things, it easily affects how you feel about differences in sex drive.

The partner with…


Morning routines aren’t just for CEOs — here’s one for sex and emotional connection

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Journaling, meditation and a cup of matcha-latte might be the morning routine of CEOs — but setting your day up for success shouldn’t only center on business and personal development. By crafting your morning routine for sex and emotional connection, you’ll be increasing the longevity and happiness of your relationship — and that’s certainly worth a few minutes in the morning.

What are morning routines?

We all have routines, whether we refer to them as such or not. If the first thing you do when you wake up is reach for your phone — that’s a routine. If you always put the kettle on before running off to the loo — that’s a routine. If you always give your partner a hug, before getting out of bed — that’s a routine, too.

Over the years, morning and evening routines (or rituals as they’re sometimes called), have become a bit of a staple in self-help books. …


Because what you don’t say is just as important

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What you say in a relationship is important — but perhaps equally as important, is all the stuff you don’t say — yet impart with your body language. Nonverbal communication in a relationship has a profound effect on connection which is why this article will help you improve your nonverbal skills. That way you can create a better and more intimate relationship — the kind you’ve always wanted.

4 Different Types Of Nonverbal Communication In A Relationship

There are lots of kinds of nonverbal communication. They include, but aren’t limited to: touch and body language. A few ways to improve these ways of communicating are as follows:

Consciously use touch

Expressing love…


And how to resolve them

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Orgasm problems are common. In my job as an online sex coach and therapist, one of the most common queries people want help with, is their orgasm. Here are 3 of the most recurring difficulties and what you can do about them.

Not having an orgasm at all

You’ve tried and tried yet nothing seems to bring you over that famous edge and tip you into ecstasy. This can be frustrating and also upsetting — orgasms are seen as such an important part of sex and not being able to have one can leave you feeling left out and broken.

There’s nothing wrong with you if…


It’s less about positions and more about your brain

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How to rekindle sexual desire in a long-term relationship is less about new positions — and more about working your brain.

At the beginning of relationships, it’s all fireworks and lightning — as soon as you touch other, your appetite for sex renewed. Over time, these intense feelings of sexual desire tend to pitter-patter away.

What’s left is a deep bond with lots of emotional intimacy and a sense of safety and attachment. Sometimes, it’s easy to take this as a sign that something’s off; you’ve fallen out of love, or perhaps you’re not meant to be.

As a clinical sexologist, I want you to know there doesn’t have to be anything wrong with your relationship just because you’d rather Netflix…


Written by a sex and relationship therapist

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Great relationships don’t just happen — we need to work on keeping them fresh. If you’re on the hunt for tips for keeping a relationship alive, look no further. By using the 3-step process outlined in this article, you’ll be well on your way to more intimacy and excitement.

1. Work out what you want

In order to create change and keep things interesting — you need to know what you want to make more exciting.

For example, do you want to feel more attracted to your partner? Do you want to have sex more often? …


And why it matters — written by a sex therapist

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As with everything else in life, sex doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes it leaves us feeling happy — but other times it makes us feel empty, sad or frustrated. If you’re asking yourself “why do I feel emotional after sex?” — you’ll want to consider the three reasons below.

The Three Answers to Your Question: Why Do I Feel Emotional After Sex?

Sexual disappointment

On the other side of sex lies the possibility for many things: connection, intimacy and fun are a few of them. But sex also contains the possibility for things less positive than these, namely; disappointment, frustration and emptiness.

If your sexual experience with your partner is far from what you want it to be, it’s not strange if sex leaves you feeling emotional. Quite the contrary.

Sex often demands of us to be vulnerable and open with another person (or people).

We need to be committed to the experience and give of ourselves and our energy — and when this…


One reason we end up having the same arguments over and over

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Sometimes, it seems as if all you do is fight. As a sex therapist, I often work with people on their relationships, beyond the sexual stuff. One question I get frequently is “how do you communicate in a relationship without fighting” — and the answer is what this article is all about.

Assuming the worst

One reason we end up having the same arguments over and over again, is because we’ve gotten into a habit of assuming the worst about our partner — instead of the best.

You start to see their behaviour or their lack of action as a sign of something…


Here’s what happens to your body when you climax

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Whether you find it easy to climax or experience trouble orgasming, knowing just what happens to your body when you orgasm is a good way of learning to understand your body and your sexuality. Because with more knowledge, comes more pleasure!

Below are six things that occur in your body when you have an orgasm.

1. Your pelvic floor muscles contract

Your pelvic floor muscles consist of several muscles that stretch from your pubic bone to your tailbone. These muscles are important as they help prevent things like incontinence and pelvic floor prolapse.

They’re also highly involved in orgasms.

When you climax, your pelvic floor muscles…


Yes, and Here’s What You Can Do About It

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Depression is one of the most common mental health challenges in the world, affecting up to 264 million people. It can be debilitating — causing you to feel zapped of energy, numb, and low. It’s also one of the number one reasons people suffer from low libido. If you’re looking for answers to the question “can depression affect sexual desire and what can I do about it?” this article has got you covered with a step-by-step section on how to proceed.

Why Depression Affects Sexual Desire

You first need to understand why depression affects sexual desire.

Often viewed as a biological need — sexual desire is actually much more complex than a basic urge. It’s more like an emotion that can be affected by lots of things besides our biology.

Psychological factors like depression and anxiety, relationship factors like conflict and communication styles, and even cultural factors, like how we think we’re meant to experience desire or sex — all can lead to low libido.

We cannot separate our sexuality from ourselves, which is why depression can have such a large impact on our sex drive.

Depression Is An Antithesis To Sex

Leigh Norén, MSc

Sex therapist and writer with a Master of Science in Sexology. Offers free online resources and sex coaching. www.leighnoren.com

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