As a sex therapist, a large part of my job entails busting myths about sex, sexuality, and relationships. One of the biggest myths is the idea of orgasms as mysterious events that we cannot control.
In part — this is true, at the very least it can feel like we have no control over our climax. Lots of people struggle with coming before they want to, not having an orgasm as quickly as they’d like to, or not coming at all.
The thing is though — orgasms aren’t magic — they’re the result of several processes in your mind and…
Sex is good for you — but only if you’re having sex you want to have. No amount will do you good if you feel pressured to engage in it. If you’re having sex you want and really enjoy, though, it can be powerful — there are lots of emotional benefits of sex.
A lot of us are anxious or worried about our sex life. One of the leading causes of this worry is an idea that we’re perhaps somehow “abnormal” for not wanting more sex or for not enjoying it “enough”.
Is your relationship getting you down? You’re not alone.
This past year has been rough — COVID, lockdown, and spending nearly all your time with your partner can make even the best of relationships feel less than lackluster.
It’s easy to fall into a pattern of feeling underwhelmed and unsatisfied. If this sounds like you, you’ll want to work on a way of communicating unhappiness, so that true change can come about. Here are five ways to do just that.
Before you launch into telling your partner about being unhappy — make sure you know what you’re going to communicate.
Differences in desire are completely normal, but this doesn’t mean they’re a walk in the park. As a sex therapist, I talk with a lot of people about how to cope with different libidos. The key is to deal with it early on and find ways of synching up. Here’s how you do just that.
Sex is seldom just about sex — it’s about lots of different things; love, appreciation, validation, stress-relief, and play, to name a few.
Because sex can mean so many different things, it easily affects how you feel about differences in sex drive.
The partner with…
We all have routines, whether we refer to them as such or not. If the first thing you do when you wake up is reach for your phone — that’s a routine. If you always put the kettle on before running off to the loo — that’s a routine. If you always give your partner a hug, before getting out of bed — that’s a routine, too.
Over the years, morning and evening routines (or rituals as they’re sometimes called), have become a bit of a staple in self-help books. …
What you say in a relationship is important — but perhaps equally as important, is all the stuff you don’t say — yet impart with your body language. Nonverbal communication in a relationship has a profound effect on connection which is why this article will help you improve your nonverbal skills. That way you can create a better and more intimate relationship — the kind you’ve always wanted.
There are lots of kinds of nonverbal communication. They include, but aren’t limited to: touch and body language. A few ways to improve these ways of communicating are as follows:
Orgasm problems are common. In my job as an online sex coach and therapist, one of the most common queries people want help with, is their orgasm. Here are 3 of the most recurring difficulties and what you can do about them.
You’ve tried and tried yet nothing seems to bring you over that famous edge and tip you into ecstasy. This can be frustrating and also upsetting — orgasms are seen as such an important part of sex and not being able to have one can leave you feeling left out and broken.
There’s nothing wrong with you if…
At the beginning of relationships, it’s all fireworks and lightning — as soon as you touch other, your appetite for sex renewed. Over time, these intense feelings of sexual desire tend to pitter-patter away.
What’s left is a deep bond with lots of emotional intimacy and a sense of safety and attachment. Sometimes, it’s easy to take this as a sign that something’s off; you’ve fallen out of love, or perhaps you’re not meant to be.
As a clinical sexologist, I want you to know there doesn’t have to be anything wrong with your relationship just because you’d rather Netflix…
Great relationships don’t just happen — we need to work on keeping them fresh. If you’re on the hunt for tips for keeping a relationship alive, look no further. By using the 3-step process outlined in this article, you’ll be well on your way to more intimacy and excitement.
In order to create change and keep things interesting — you need to know what you want to make more exciting.
For example, do you want to feel more attracted to your partner? Do you want to have sex more often? …
On the other side of sex lies the possibility for many things: connection, intimacy and fun are a few of them. But sex also contains the possibility for things less positive than these, namely; disappointment, frustration and emptiness.
If your sexual experience with your partner is far from what you want it to be, it’s not strange if sex leaves you feeling emotional. Quite the contrary.
Sex often demands of us to be vulnerable and open with another person (or people).
We need to be committed to the experience and give of ourselves and our energy — and when this…